Preview Mode Links will not work in preview mode

Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column


Jul 3, 2020

A beautiful pair of sunglasses is an effective, immediate means to gaining status. But there is a method to the heist.

For the casual passerby, there is something about the mystery behind those veiled lenses that injects a jolt of curiosity, wondering if they have serendipitously caught a glimpse of someone famous. Even if for only a split-second, they will incredulously wonder if they have happened upon that rare opportunity to witness a brilliant celebrity in their natural form who just happened to wander into their periphery.

For the wearer, the subtle reaction to this neck jerk is of vital importance.

This is called The Tease.

It is all about timing and reflex. At the precise moment that the shiny reflectiveness throws a diamond dazzle that hooks the onlooker, in comes your sleek technique. With a quick chin tuck and turn of the cheek, the phased stargazer will stretch the sockets to ensure that your reluctance is not an attempt to masquerade your public recognizability. They will strain their eyeballs to get a full-fledged gander, squirming for the optimal angle to ensure a confirmed identification before holster pulling the cellphone for the must have pic, or text alert. Then with a quick trick, your movement becomes hurried in the attempt to make a blast dash to refuge before the madding crowd gets tipped.

A quick escape and it’s over. You will have left at least one person in silent hysteria and the room will be buzzing with what ifs.

BAM! One amazing pair of quality sunglasses and you’re out of the burbs and onto the boulevard. It’s an investment. You’re not just buying protective eyewear, you’re purchasing prestige.

And you want to know the best part of pulling this punk? No one will have evidence that you’re stoned