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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

Jan 31, 2020

No one wins in a break-up.

Even if you’re the executioner fully prepared to drop the guillotine’s blade, there is always some level of disappointment that comes with unrealized expectations. And when your trusted partner finds themself incapable of ending a relationship in a personal way, opting instead for the path...


Jan 24, 2020

If Mozart was alive today, he would be the biggest fucking rock star in the world. The dude had a severe command of melody and everyone who has made music since is blatantly ripping him off. Furthermore, every note he produced was without the luxury of a recording studio, or any way to augment the sounds other...


Jan 17, 2020

Where is this gate of which they speak?

The one that you carelessly meander through that leads you into a string of bad decisions, ultimately overtaking your better sense of sound judgement where you surrender to any resistance against an ugly dependency on cocaine and heroin. Suuuuure, it starts out harmless, just a...


Jan 10, 2020

Spell check did me a solid. I was with my buddy, Davey Dabs.

I was texting the word Indica, and before finishing, through some algorithmic wizardry quite foreign to my caveman ability to analyze esoteric computations, the prefix of the word immediately spawned a search engine result which appeared on the screen as...


Jan 3, 2020

People have been attempting to place identifiable descriptors to the days of the week for as long as there have been calendars. And as technology has advanced and created more demand for higher yields outside of the once standard nine to five workday, our schedules have fluctuated, signifying that we are now officially...