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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

Jan 29, 2024

There she was, standing over a fresh dog poop, looking down upon a thin strip of sidewalk grass along a quiet suburban road holding her only bag, bulging and tied off. The Rhodesian Ridgeback at the end of the leash, quite unfortunately, just unloaded an unexpected second helping.

To leave or not to leave, that is the...


Jan 22, 2024

You work your ass off and deserve a vacation. You save, plan, and prepare while exerting double the energy for the chance to finally check out and head for that sandy paradise for a classic decompress. So, when the bags are loaded with your scene safely in the rear view, a healthy exhale loosens the shackles.

But...


Jan 15, 2024

There used to be a creepy movie called The Swamp Thing where a slothy creature covered in moss was scaring the shit out of everybody in the nearby town by snatching up baddies to take back to his waterbed. Not to be confused with Oscar the Grouch who shares a similar pelt, only drier.  And even though this trash dweller...


Jan 8, 2024

Who’s got a sturdy noose handy so I can hang myself and end the misery?

As if the steady banging of neon flashing little boy shoes with the tiny roller wheels into the back of my seat isn’t enough, there’s the incessant whining that is unsuccessfully quelled with parental coddling that makes me want to set the...


Jan 1, 2024

A lot of people need to dry out and they know it. So, getting sober is an annual challenge some of my friends will undertake for around thirty days, usually the same month every year. It’s not like they enjoy this exile, but in their mind, abstinence is a necessary evil that is going to miraculously stave off an early...