May 15, 2020
Wow, was 4/20 this year a bust, or what? I mean, Marvel’s Black Widow being bumped for a later release was disappointing, but this takes the meaning of anticlimactic to a new level.
Yay, live streaming is so much fun! Not.
I mean, we really could’ve used a quick hit of morale for our annoyingly short attention spans and lackluster lives because the thrill of fantasy films and tiger kings is losing its wow factor and no longer filling in the gaps with the needed diversion between the daily commute from the living room to the kitchen. Wait, I forgot the bedroom–and behold, another flatscreen bearing down on you like an engorged raincloud.
This day was hyped to be the ultimate sesh where stoners everywhere were gonna floss. And we love hype. It is a huge part of how events and entertainment are marketed and consumed to us, where the tease builds anticipation, working the spine into an impatient lather of suspense. But because the grand finale was cancelled due to a pesky pandemic, we stoners now have our own Deflategate, having choked what little air of optimism remained.
I always wondered what house arrest was like.
So, we missed the big diamond anniversary, where the calendar synchronized for a massive smash of numerical celebration, uniting the globe of pot professionals to finally usurp Earth Day in relevance. Fucking bummer, Man.
We could’ve been bigger than Easter.
Anyway, have you seen enough movies yet? They’re not as much fun when you can faintly sense the real apocalypse brewing in the wind, are they? This whole shit show feels like a bad science fiction flick.
Oh wait, I almost forgot, none of this has anything to do with science.
Where the fuck is our superhero now?