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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column


Dec 13, 2019

Everywhere you go these days, someone is attempting to influence people with a positive message. And thankfully so, because we need a counterbalance to the negative propaganda being force fed to us through biased media sources steered by oligarchs serving their multi-national agendas. And the more positive the messages from these encouraging people are, the more nourishment for not just our individual spiritual growth, but collective growth, too.

With that said, it benefits us to find the most attractive perspective in every aspect of life. Even if that includes the most dreaded issue our human race has ever faced, which is rising temperatures and the inevitable melting of the polar caps. Because we need all the good vibes we can get. Defeat is not an option.

So, with that cringeworthy statement out of the way, let’s try to continue to breathe, unclench our fists and throats, and look at the neon bright side of the planet drying up into a little scab.

There will be so many more cities just like Las Vegas!

Waterworld will be posthumously nominated for Best Picture of the year at the 2099 Academy awards!

Think of the savage tan!

You’ll no longer need to replace windshield wipers once a year in Seattle!

Your stock in fake Christmas trees will skyrocket!

That sexy new beachfront retirement community in Phoenix!

No need to layer up!

Houseboats are hip!

You love seafood!

Hey, quick question: Can you grow bud on the moon yet?