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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column


Dec 13, 2021

Davey Dabs has a preposterous theory.

You see, although his actions are sometimes perceived as infantile performances aimed at seeking attention, he is not ilsmart. In fact, he is not uneducated. Davey Dabs received his Bachelor of Science with a degree in philosophy at UC Berkeley. And although ilsmart is not an official word in the English language, he loves to use it on backwards day. And when people inform him that not only is the word not backwards, but also not a real word, he calls them ilsmart.

He loves the word ilsmart. “Just because the dictionary says it is not a word, that does not mean it is not a word. It means it is not a word in the annals of those who determine words for the masses. But if I the individual use it as a word, then it just became a word.”

He relates to the word "ilsmart" on an intrinsic level because he was called ilsmart on the playground once as a child. Some things stick. He’s always known that the word ilsmart isn’t a word, but that is exactly why he uses it. Davey Dabs intentionally breaks convention for the purpose of questioning the rationale behind it, looking for cracks in the grout of society’s tiles, playfully searching to expose the hypocrisy of the human system.

So, his theory is that reincarnation can be manipulated. And it is not an entirely inane idea, because just as "ilsmart" is not a word accepted by those who claim to be smart, inane is a matter of opinion.

His theory is based on a process that begins with a dead person’s DNA which is genetically imprinted into a new embryo. The embryo is carried by a host until birth. Upon birth, the child is indoctrinated with a manual about the person from whom the original DNA was taken—every detail, every nuance. Then, when the child reaches adulthood, they are as close to a replica as possible.

By the way, he came up with this theory on backwards day.