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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column


Oct 9, 2020

I’d like to make a suggestion. How about we put a pause on the whole superhero thing for a minute? I get it, these fun-filled blockbusters are colorful, entertaining, and difficult to ignore, but so is a commercial for Applebees where everything is visually appealing, but basically cheap and filling. And when the party’s over you feel bloated and a little sugar drunk from the happy hour amalgamation of 4 mixers and one strictly measured shot of well booze.

It’s like this. They take the same nine ingredients and whoop them up in a variety of ways, so it all appears splashy and creative, but the result rarely departs from the blueprint for profitability.

It begins with a mystery. “Let’s see, should I go with the steak, or the chicken?”

Then there’s the conflict. “I want the steak, but the chicken is healthier.”

And the resolution. “Oh, I can get 2 for $20. Problem solved!”

And the happy ending. “Yes, I’ll have the Triple Chocolate Meltdown. Two spoons, please.” Followed by batting eyelashes.

I understand that I’m pissing on the leg of something profoundly popular, but haven’t we grown past the cookie cutter formula of Eisenhauer conservatism? Now, I understand that this genre is strictly entertainment, but fantasy should be thought provoking with more than the predictable exercise in happy ending economics. Because if we can internalize that life is more than just good guys reigning victorious over bad guys, maybe we’ll learn to take intrigue to higher levels that actually apply to us improving as a society rather than just complacently turning back the pages to read the same chapter.

Afterall, art imitates life. And you have a responsibility to evolve.

Then you will leave the theater with more than just an anesthetized brain and flat popcorn attached your sticky soles.

I’ve got a brilliant idea! How about The Wonderful Weed Man, where he roasts a nug, gets the munchies and eats the villain with a bowl of Trix.

Or we could just go with another insect. You’re call, Bro.