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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

Sep 11, 2020

It’s pretty evident that our economic system is fortified by keeping the average living organism dumb and sick. Force fed to fatten the liver, we choke down beer like good stewards who appreciate the small escape that a laugh and a cheap buzz affords, giving into the tactful marketing with the same blind trust we have for politicians and corporate CEOs.  

Don’t question authority.  

There’s no need. Because your very own beach paradise awaits with only the simple turn of a bottlecap and push of a squeezed lime.   

Here are the steps. Click the television remote control (aka the hypnotic spinning spiral). Reach for the beer. Drink the beer. Grab your phone. Order the pizza. Eat the pizza (you are becoming verrrrrry sleepy). Fall asleep with your feet propped on top of the pizza box.  

Is that why your bare feet always smell like cheese? 

And then there are pharmaceuticals.  

Now, I was recently hospitalized for an appendectomy. After the surgery, painkillers were administered on the regular. And it felt great! Awash in euphoria, there appeared a heightened enthusiasm for things like sippy cups, Get Well Soon balloons, and other inanimate objects. “Feel free to drill a few teeth while you’re here, doctor,” I delivered in the form of flattery. “I’m not a dentist,” retorted the nurse. 

My new friend was wonderful and benevolent. No, not the nurse, the Demerol.  

However, there was a big problem--the warm, comforting friend did not stay long. And when those synapses settled down, abandoning the heavens for a more remedial plot back on earth, the natural energy balance of my body felt betrayed. The road to recovery, it now appeared, was more a battle with addiction than the healing of the physical wounds.

And this is a big fucking problem.

For the record, I’m not totally against drugs. I think big pharma justs need to devote more resources into research and dabvelopment.