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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

Apr 24, 2020

She who creates the post always looks her best. And in the league of personal brand development, we need every advantage when pitching our lives to the masses.

There is little room for imperfection. One unfiltered, compromising hangover photo of stringy morning hair tied into a haphazard bun can be disastrous. One side profile of baggy sweatpants with a protruding belly can do you in, or even worse, being photographed wolfing down a burger with no makeup covering the blemishes. It can undermine years of strategy, toppling the whole construct like a building demolition. Because followers will scrutinize tirelessly, pining for any hint of that one flaw.

And you know that most people will not take the time and effort to filter your mug through the picture-perfect lens of Snapchat before brandishing onto social media. And this can be detrimental to the ideal image you’ve taken great pains to perfect.

You can trust no one.

You like to call these people your friends, but in this world of competitive attention grabbing, every person is an isolated island. In fact, there are no friends, only people to be seen with and social ladders to climb.

She with the most toys does not win. She with the most followers wins.

The world is always searching for the next Kardashian and there is little room atop the trophy podium where the elbow jabbing in the queue can get physical. So, you’ve got to be on you’re A game when there’s a group photo that is destined to be published unto the world’s symposium. And when it comes time to ensconce your image into the eyes of the collective stargazers, one false move can become a drastic regret never to be rectified.

So, proceed with perilous caution when posing. And make certain the shutter is snapped through your lens.

Except when you’re posing with Cannabis. Then you’re allowed to look ugly.