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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

Jun 17, 2024

No one wants to be lonely. Human beings need social interaction. Which explains why the smart phone is truly your bestie because it will always respond to you brightly, saturating your glowing face with reverence. Even at your most compromised moments when the eyes are drooping and the teeth need brushing, it worships your existence with unflappable consistency

That is real love, Baby.

And it can never abandon you because you own it. 

But really, who owns who?

Because that adoration can be a dangerous substitute in fulfilling the need for attention. You see, as these fascinating technologies allow us to communicate and coordinate with more and more people profiles across the globe, what suffers is our real need for tangible human connection. So, if the desired outcome from opening your smart phone is one that does not bring you joy and contentment, yet you continue to engage in the process knowing fully well that the odds of an ultimately negative experience are more than likely, the device has control of you. And this lack of real satisfaction can cause angst.

A society filled with angst, as we know through history, results in division. And division creates instability. Instability results in violence. Violence equates to destruction. And generally, when war does break out, the first thing to get targeted is communication towers. Which means your Wi-Fi goes sayonara, immediately deeming your source of depression, anxiety, and loneliness inoperable. Which could be the best thing that ever happened to humanity. 

So, continue to use your smartphone. You’re doing a great thing.

You know, we don’t really own anything. Ownership is merely a concept. Like currency, we merely hold the paper for a short time before transferring it into another’s possession. 

And if being happy is your goal in life, use Cannabis. It will also saturate your face with reverence.