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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

May 13, 2024

We all know what this means, right? But in case you’ve been held hostage in a dental office waiting room for the past decade tortured with easy listening music and nine-month-old gossip magazines, it’s an acronym for Laughing My Fucking Ass Off.  Which implies that someone is overcome with a howling expression of jubilation. And this reflex is so genuine that it goes beyond the ability to contain one’s composure. This is not a giggle, this is not a smirk, this is a response to something that is so inherently funny that it results in the physical release of happiness, expressed without restraint. The person is not just laughing, they are laughing hysterically.

However, he or she who is using this language, almost always through texting, is only chuckling…maybe.

They are not laughing hysterically at all. They are pretending to do so by channeling their emotions into contemporary terminology that seemingly does it for them while the actual expression of this joy, whatever level it is, is still contained within their mind and body.

Kind of like being held captive in a dental office.

Imagine standing in front of someone and telling them that you are laughing your fucking ass off. They would say, “No you aren’t.” The reply would be, “Right, but I think it’s really funny.” And the other person would say, “Then why aren’t you laughing?”

Yet, when an individual sends this expression through their mobile device, their intent is to have us believe they are a fun loving, outgoing friend who drinks up life with a reckless sense of humor. Realistically, however, this person spends an average of 8-12 hours a day being entertained though a digital screen with very little to no reaction at all.

Just because you say something doesn’t make it true.

BTW, cannabis is my BFF.