Mar 13, 2023
You’ve walked into a room and seen mounted animals
peering downward with glazed eyes, yes? Maybe it was a hawk with
flared wings and a curved beak, frozen in a statuesque moment. Or a
snarling bear, mid-growl, caught in a pose when the hair spiked
from the back and the drool dripped over the fangs.
This fantastic plaque is a feast for human curiosity, reminding us
that although this beast would rip and mangle our bodies if
mistakenly confronted in the woods, evolution has befitted us with
the advantage of being properly armed in the wild.
Keeping surveillance from atop the fireplace, the emotion captured
from the creature’s expression brings a chill that challenges your
love for beauty with fear. It informs you that although it may have
been a savage battle, the one with the shotgun walked away
unscathed. For a moment, your imagination lands you in the woods
where the wind swishes through the evergreens to create the only
sound other than your breath and moving feet. Then you hear a
fast-approaching, blood thirsty monster with the scream of a
thousand banshees…
The cubes rattle while a swallow of scotch lightly burns down your
throat. Arrogance and vulnerability intersect in this moment, a
parallel to the juxtaposition in this room--that of the feared
predator on showroom display amongst the high cedar ceilings and
soothing lapping flames.
The thought enters your periphery that there is something noble
about retaining that pose ad infinitum over the dreadful
alternative of exile to the cold dark earth in a beautiful box
where your existence is qualified by a weathered headstone that
marks the day the worms and fungi began to slowly feed upon your
bones.
I personally see this choice as a no-brainer.
There’s only one thing I ask. Please place a smile on my face, a
joint in my mouth, and a lighter in my hand.
Just in case I ever come back to life.