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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

Jul 15, 2024

Alexander the Great, what a fucking name! But how much do you actually know about him?

Sure, he was a successful conqueror and all, but how successful do you have to be in your lifetime, or how many asses do you have to whoop, to deserve the title “the Great”? I mean, a guy can call himself that all day long, but...


Jul 8, 2024

The tragic miscalculation of digital driving directions can be the cause of great stress. Because when you’re lost, everything appears foreign. Your surroundings are unfamiliar, you find yourself flustered and exposed. This is a dark and confusing place where suddenly every turn, every sidewalk, and every streetlight...


Jul 1, 2024

“I can hear you; can you hear me?”

This is the sound of modern frustration.

“Hello? I’m here, are you there?”

Dumb question, right? I mean, yes, they are obviously still there, having not spontaneously combusted into a pile of ash or vaporized into a pool of bong water. You’re both very much in the same...


Jun 25, 2024

Boy, do we take things for granted, or what? I mean, sure we could dedicate our precious moments toward considering the possibility of where we might be if these ant piles called cities weren’t constructed before our birth, but who the heck has time to reflect on the persistence of humanity and how it scratched its...


Jun 17, 2024

No one wants to be lonely. Human beings need social interaction. Which explains why the smart phone is truly your bestie because it will always respond to you brightly, saturating your glowing face with reverence. Even at your most compromised moments when the eyes are drooping and the teeth need brushing, it worships...