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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

May 29, 2023

We are preoccupied with sex.

Since each of us first exited the womb, genitalia has drawn our fascination with the irreversible magnetism that’s built into our DNA.

But as the system of indoctrination has been designed to control our natural urges through guilt and shame, there is still no proven method of turning...

May 22, 2023

Dude, we were having a great night, and then...

It appeared that the late shot of elixir was what transformed Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde, escalating the exuberant whiskey burn growl into an ear-piercing screech.

And that’s where the off switch appears to have malfunctioned.

Like a Pitbull on its first lick of steak...

May 15, 2023

Davey Dabs saves his earwax.

He stores these globs in carefully labeled ceramic saucers that are categorized by the air temperature and date they were extracted.

And as much as the fear of bacterial propagation is, he ensures his housemates Rachel the Ripper and the Swashbuckling Shatterbrain Shane with whom he shares...

May 9, 2023

Do you remember your first kiss? Damn right, you do. It was a rite of passage and potentially the most meaningful experience of your life. While the heating blood power-pumped on the inside, the bone-dry lips and frozen hips barely budged on the outside.


Thank God it gets better. Much better.

Because this...

May 1, 2023

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, it’s safe to say that everything possesses some degree of charm because what one person thinks is ugly another may see as lovely.

Dogs are a great example. Let’s be real, some Pug faces resemble a cow patty. And even though we are aware that it is not pretty,...