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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

May 30, 2022

What is a mullet? Well, it’s a mud sucking, bottom feeding fish which rightfully became the namesake of the confusing hairstyle that has prevailed as a badge of honor for those who feel compelled to demonstrate their white trash fashion. 


The Mullet Magnate is a classic rock outlaw. Forgetful but not forgotten. You...

May 23, 2022

There’s a butterfly on the lower back and bow-tie garters behind each thigh. This branding of ink, so carefully chosen as to place you in an identifiable class of lady, is the telltale mark that distinguishes you as someone who is open to making spontaneous decisions. These unpremeditated life choices are generally...

May 16, 2022

I think it’s time we rebranded these planets. I’m thinking Penis and Mons. 

I don’t know. 

A guy named John Gray wrote a bestselling book in 1992 called Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and the term quickly became a popular catchphrase that captured the world of differences between the two sexes. I...

May 9, 2022

The brain needs oxygen so the body yawns. And upon rising from the pillow one overcast morn, there was a gurgled effect and a peculiar pitch out of the mouth that seeded my core with suspicion. Oddly, it resembled an anxious Chewbacca sending a ‘let’s get the fuck outta here’ to his not so trusted friend Han Solo...

May 2, 2022

Who doesn’t love tacos? I mean, this juggernaut of Mexican culture easily rivals the hamburger when
competing for most delectable item in the food pyramid. And whether you like your fillings grilled, deep
fried, or sauteed, there is only herding the ingredients into a tortilla and wrapping that baby up to
convert your...