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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

Dec 27, 2021

The longer you stick around on this cylindrical manifestation of matter in this expansive space of coalescing energy, the more you understand how the forces of alchemy interact to create this experience. And the better you become at surrendering to how the laws of physics and metaphysics cooperate, the better...


Dec 20, 2021

Altering your reality by meddling with the synapses in your brain is one of the most common ways to entertain yourself. Whether you’re poppin’ pills or pounding tequila poppers, bending the senses can bring about the most wonderful, kaleidoscopic effects. 

Or getting turnt. Which is the fun, turnt way of saying...


Dec 13, 2021

Davey Dabs has a preposterous theory.

You see, although his actions are sometimes perceived as infantile performances aimed at seeking attention, he is not ilsmart. In fact, he is not uneducated. Davey Dabs received his Bachelor of Science with a degree in philosophy at UC Berkeley. And although ilsmart is not an...


Dec 6, 2021

Amazon screwed the pooch. If your name is Alexa, that is. Because thanks to them, there’s now a glitch in the process of assigning an identity to a newborn child, forcing us to rethink how we move forward with the official book of baby names. Now for the next couple generations or five, new mothers will shudder at the...


Nov 29, 2021

Let’s be frank, getting a shitty gift that is only going to end up in the garage stuffed inside a plastic bin for the next 8 years is a burden you didn’t ask for. Yet, you’re forced to choke out a smile while pretending that a jigsaw puzzle of a flower garden somewhere in Germany has been the missing piece to...