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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

Dec 20, 2021

Altering your reality by meddling with the synapses in your brain is one of the most common ways to entertain yourself. Whether you’re poppin’ pills or pounding tequila poppers, bending the senses can bring about the most wonderful, kaleidoscopic effects. 

Or getting turnt. Which is the fun, turnt way of saying turned up.

In the early aughts, Allen Greenspan coined the phrase “Irrational Exuberance”. He was the head of the Federal Reserve around the time of the Great Recession. Of course, he wasn’t referring to catching a buzz, but one cannot ignore the correlation that society was “getting drunk” on their own perception of wealth due to over-inflated home values. Or getting turnt. People acted like an ATM machine was sitting in their garage. 

Anyway, enough of that boring shit, let’s talk more about getting wasted. Or turnt. There’s a very popular method of achieving one very tasty buzz and that is to “crossfade”. Crossfading is mixing Cannabis with alcohol. And then you add a couple other stimulants or downers to the mix and you’re cross-pollinating. That’s not actually a thing, I just made it up. But how you define this is irrelevant because it all resides conveniently under one comfy umbrella. And that is called getting turnt. 

Which is fucking fun! Until it’s over and your dehydrated brain and body wonder what the hell you were thinking. Because its not easy to brush off the little devil jumping up and down advocating to crank up the fun volume a couple notches with ill-regard to the looming consequences the following morning. Of course, those feelings of irrational exuberance can compound into a full-blown weekend of getting turnt. That’s called a bender. Which rarely ends well.

Too much getting turnt makes you burnt.