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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column


Nov 22, 2021

People tell me this sometimes. But am I narcissistic, or just really eager to be recognized? A little of both, methinks.

Aren’t we all guilty of wanting attention at some level? I mean, at what point are you self-absorbed, or just looking to feel relevant in this glorious human experience of lightning strikes and rolling stones? Because, let’s be honest, every one of us, from an instinctual level, is looking out for numero uno as much as any other living organism. And some of you would argue that you always put your child before yourself, but if that’s really the best means for your DNA reaching the next millennium, then why does the flight attendant instruct you to put your life vest on first?

Because the kid ain’t gonna make it without its momma.

I get it, drawing too much attention to yourself can always be a means for criticism in this environment of acceptance where all people are welcome to share the stage equally. But all people aren’t equal, physically, or mentally.

Just like weed.

And I’m not claiming that I, or my country, race, religion, gender, etc. is better than any other person or living thing on the planet, just that it seems silly that we should consider ourselves the same. In kindergarten, they told us we are all unique in our own special way like a snowflake. Right about the same time they told us how to dress, which God to worship and which football team to root for. These are intended to be the ways that we differentiate and determine the winners and losers.

Contradictions are everywhere.

I understand that global equality is basically in reference to civil rights, which I’m down with. And I believe we all deserve the same opportunities.

So, am I still a narcissist?

And am I an asshole if I prefer Green Crack over Wedding Cake?