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Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

Jun 11, 2021

The term “to make love” is an old reference to screwing. Which, by the way, is a word that will never get old. Thank God for the word screw, right? Like the word fuck, there are so many useful ways to repurpose your undertone because the intent can be totally guttural while still upholding an air of class. Sure, fuck has shock value, but it’s become too played out in today’s self-gratification planet where using edgy words is supposed to make you edgy. That’s how a great word loses its impact, btw, but screw will never go out of style. And it’s even awesomer when grandma is feeling fresh and says something is a little “screwy” and you love her for it.

Fuck can’t do that.

Anyway, back to “make love”. Is it just me, or was it not the chic reference for going all the way in just about every 1970’s classic rock song? But did people really use the words “I want to make love to you” and close the deal?  Or did women intuitively know that the dweeb pitching this phrase was just stealing a line from a James Bond flick? Which is a turn-off, so we can assume that the statement simply threw water on the fire.

I’m cool with the term “making whoopee,” which is another one of Grandma’s faves. But saying “making love” belongs in the next Anchorman installment after Ron Burgundy blasts through a spell-inducing jazz flute rage with one eyebrow raised. I mean, there are so many ways to characterize the act of consummating intimate relations, but why “making love?”

Why not?

I suppose it’s a way of expressing what you want to do to someone you have strong feelings for.

I’m gonna go make love to a dab now.